Thursday, November 15, 2012

About sex: first talk with your teen

About sex: first talk with your teen

Truth: "Where do babies come from?"
This is the universal question, the most common I hear parents at an early age since their child. To avoid any further confusion and good sex education is necessary to approach the child in a manner as may be honest and direct this topic, but according to his age and physical and emotional development phase. "When a man and a woman in love and get married, they want a child and his father put a seed in the mother's womb and the baby grows there until ready to know the world in which we live." - Here's a mature response, suitable for a child aged 4-5, without having to dodge and without providing extra information to the child is not ready.
Parents often need to be trained in what concerns the discussion about sex with their children, be it at an earlier age or adolescent. While some parents try to ignore this issue and to fool the idea that their teenager is thinking about sex yet, they must be objective and realize that the first ideas about sex and sexuality appear at an early age and, 5-7 years, and a lack of education in this sex can attract long-term negative consequences.
Whether or not sexually active teen, sex should not be taboo in your family, your home
What is the right age to talk about sex?
There is no standard age appropriate for your child initiate the topic indicated however is that whenever you tangent on the subject, even when children learn their anatomical parts should not avoid genital areas and their role and should tell your facts regarding their name and various anatomical and biological aspects (age appropriate and recommended course is that claims be supported with explanatory pictures for children).
Talking with your child should be the instructive conversation continued, progressive - because if it is large enough and ready to ask about a sexual topic then you must admit that is large enough to be given an answer on measure. But be careful not to fall into the other extreme and annoying child to talk about sex or information about sex and sexuality that he does not want to know yet or provide explicit information, the ability to understand complicated. This minimal approach, evolution will help the child later in puberty and teenage years gradually make connections between various information about sex and sexuality extending appropriate details of his physical and emotional development.
Talking about sex with teen depend most heavily on parent-adolescent relationship built up at the start of this discussion and family attitudes about sex and sexuality.
Regarding teens and sex issues have to be honest with yourself: they know certain information (true or false) and the question how much I know, but should know more than you want to know how. The truth is that most of the information that they learn from various sources insecure wrong (more than half of teens in the world believe that oral sex is not sex).
The ideal is to have an open and communicative relationship with your child, start talking about sex since the school (steps to prepare for the physical, hormonal and sexual) and be sensitive to early signs of teen that would like to discuss to you about sex.
About sex: first talk with your teen
Addressing discussion about sex with teen
Despite progress in web technologies, text messaging and social networking, parents remain the best source for teens (if they are, in turn, knowledgeable) in terms of sexuality. Parents can incorporate sex education in adolescent education, according to the personality and character, he can be transmitted simultaneously beliefs and family values, a complete package for family life lesson. There are three essential tools that parents need to use them when it comes to talking about sex to protect adolescent feelings during inspirra discussion and to develop a positive attitude about their sexuality.
Validation >>>
The first message that parents need to convey the child / adolescent gender and sexuality is that sex is natural, normal and that physical and emotional changes due to normal hormonal changes. Sex is not dirty, bad.

Exploration >>>
Hunting opportunities that your teenager we offer for talks about sex to see what opinions, attitudes, what his plans are regarding this topic. Teenager must feel safe and comfortable when talking about sex, feel it is heard and not be a sermon. Use open questions that can be answered free teen ("What do you think ..?") At the expense of its answer questions that limits and inhibits it.

Accept >>>
Avoid critical statements that put labels people or situations. If your teen tackles a topic that you are not ready / to and the only natural reaction is negative, elegant postpone discussion ("I'm going to think about it.") Without a negative response category and make sure you come back with an answer / informed decision / discussion of the future.
Talking about sex ... Whose responsibility is the school or parents?
Although it is tempting for parents to avoid answering this question, the most important is to ensure correct and safe child development: child / adolescent should not end the false impression that parents have lied in some ways of his sexuality.
Psychologists believe that talking about sex, information, guidance, support must come primarily from parents, and then from the school.
The reasons for this are numerous statements because:
- Parents can give their children adequate capacity to understand simple information the child and his desire for knowledge;
- The child will get the correct information gradually from a trusted source for them and will know while parents' attitudes related to sex, gender should not be an issue avoided or treated as a dark secret;
- Some family psychologists believe that sex education in primary school may steal innocent children and can be a form of abuse of the child (the child is required to attend presentations by curriculum, even if he is not prepared in terms mentally understand this information, the information is presented in a bland, technical and uncreative);
- While at school all children / teenagers are trained equally when it comes to a matter, parents know how to train their children's specific needs (while a 7 year old child may be mature in thinking and responsive to this subject, a child 12-13 years may not be ready yet).
About sex: first talk with your teen
The first serious discussion about sex with teen - Important Advice for parents
# Do not panic.
Even though we live in a world subject sexualized and media pushes on the first page, you should not overdo it.
# Do not keep preaching.
Ask questions, encourage questions teenager, but not impose atitutudini and mentalities.
# Be careful / e of adolescent media consumption (to know what you are facing).
# Identify the right time to start talking about sex.
Take advantage of a TV program, a music video that deals with sexual issues as a starting point to initiate a discussion about sex. Even some times the usual daily (shopping) can provide opportunities to initiate a discussion about sex.
# Maintain a calm and non-judgmental attitude in talking about sex.
# Identify the understanding of the child / adolescent and existing knowledge (wrong or not, sources discussed, etc).
# Be direct and osnest.
Clearly affirm your opinions and beliefs on specific issues related to sex, oral sex (risks) and other sexual activities. Presented in an objective physical risks, emotional, acquisition danger of disease or unwanted pregnancy (these discussions should be initiated around the age of 12-13 years).
# Keep your sense of humor and do not be afraid to acknowledge their discomfort and embarrassment in addressing discussion about sex, or even failing to inform its own when you were his age (company rules a few years ago, parents did not talk about it with you and explain consequences).
Offer your willingness to talk about sex and information on issues unknown to you yet, but which teenager wants to know. Ensure that it is good, healthy to wear these discussions and encourage him to come to talk about sex with you (or a trusted specialist) whenever you feel the need or have a problem.
# Be open / has in sharing their values ​​and concerns.
# Use words understandable for teens and comfortable.
# Relationship discuss sex with love, intimacy, trust, respect for self and partner.
# Discuss the importance of taking responsibility for their own choices and decisions.
# Help your teen to consider the pros and cons regarding the right to vote and to adopt a healthy and positive attitude about sex.
# Consider and adolescent point of view.
Do not use intimidation tactics to discourage adolescent sexual activity. Listen to it carefully and try to understand teenagers pressure, challenges his age and worries and concerns.

Talking with your teen about sex
Many parents want to meet the challenge of discussions about sex and sexuality with their children, but often do not know how to initiate such a discussion.

>> Explore your attitudes.
In the case of families where discussions about sex were frequent, honest and open there is a very low risk that the child will engage in risky behavior and early in terms of sex. First, parents, families have a positive attitude about healthy sex, and if you feel uncomfortable and insecure due to lack of information in the field you explore some books: as you are well-documented on the field, the more confident you approach and more open.

>> Take an early lead in the field of sex education: start with anatomy and biology.
Inititierea your child in sex education should start with simple, gentle but continuous since the anatomical structure or reproductive system (the meaning or course, also the learning process of other body parts), without the use of diminutives such terms or Terms masked (infiltrating shame, embarrassment regarding his own sexuality).
Ideally you have at hand drawings to illustrate the reproductive system their meaning what happens inside the body, emotional and physical development at puberty etc.

Take initiative >>
If your child / teenager has not yet started asking questions-it is not normal behavior and can be caused by embarrassment or acquiring information from other sources secret. Looking for opportunities to initiate a discussion about sex.
About sex: first talk with your teen
Change the context of discussion about sex >>
Instead you experience directly, face to face for a discussion teen sex (with great fanfare and frame preparation, planning and timing of the discussion), try to approach any subject as one in a common context and comfortable For teenagers, a less alarming and rigid (eg a ride for shopping, eliminating the feeling of being cornered-teen can look out the window while discussing the subject).

Additional Information >> talk about sex: Sex is more than a physiological activity.
In addition to the biological sex, teen need to know and sentimental side of sex to make good decisions when under the influence of peers or other constraining factors.
Adolescent needs to know information about safe sex, contraception, sexually transmitted diseases and unwanted pregnancy risk.

>> Anticipate the next stage of development of the child / adolescent.
Your child's body goes through some physical changes, hormonal, emotional as they develop, reach puberty and then adolescence. To avoid situations of adolescent panic is best to prepare it for its next stage of sexual development.

Talking about sex with your child >> opposite sex parent.
Some parents feel uncomfortable talking about sex with children of the opposite sex himself, so usually receive sex education boy from a male (father, uncle or trusted person of the same sex where there is this paternal) and daughter the mother (or LTA trustworthy person female). But this is not a rule, it is important to be objective and treat different male subject sexuzlitatii feminine and not turn into a discussion about sex ritual (to be spontaneous and healthy).
About sex: first talk with your teen
Differentiate >> discussions about sex between sexes: boys and girls need different instructions in order to understand sexuality.
An important aspect of these instructions delicate and differentiated approach regarding sexuality is sexual consent: girls / teens need to know to express strong negative response sexual advances of a male individual and boys / teenager should know correctly interpret the female response to his advances. Sometimes girls look elsewhere, but without verbally express refusal of sexual advances - this is not consimtamatul on sex and the boy can be accused of rape or sexual abuse.

Sexually active or not, teens need help and support to make responsible decisions in matters of sex.
Discussions about sex does not encourage sexual activity among teenagers, but rather make them more responsible and delays at the start of sexual activity following the decision teenager.

Most parents initiate discussions about sex for the wrong reasons: the idea is not to approach topics about sex from teens to wrest information about her intimate life, whether or not sexually active, but to know what is what, adolescent attitudes about sex and give him a proper sex education, where he feels safe to come anytime to discuss sex with you

Why some teens are sexually active and others not, are very different, but according to the studies that are not sexually active from families that are open discussions about sex and comfortable for everyone.
Parents are often disturbed by media and virtual challenges launched in sexual matters, challenges that teens often find them interesting so it is important that your child will have a minimal sex education before coming in contact with the medium. Also in modern times and relationships appear "modern" deviations "unhealthy" like "friends with benefits" - a trendy concept that lies somewhere between monogamy and interpersoanala relationship one night stand. This is why parents need to document them in advance and to be aware of new trends in the field of adolescent sex, adolescent to learn opinion or report with new sexual practices.

Teach your teen to become a Teenagers ally does not expect you to have answers to all their questions and concerns, but want to know that you strive to be there for them and sincerely appreciate your effort and respect through education and values ​​received family.

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