Thursday, November 15, 2012

Pitfalls life couple


Pitfalls life couple

Three most common traps when you are looking for a life partner are:
1. Belief that each of us can only meet a suitable partner a pair suflect.
2. Searching and waiting for the perfect partner.
3. Belief that all romantic relationships will always remain a true bliss.

These beliefs are harmful both torque voaste life and emotional status of the partners. They can often experience disappointment, grief, despair, anxiety, frustration frequently when imaginative scenarios that are based on these three beliefs do not match the reality of their love life. Caught in dreams of love life you live will be prevented potential. You can even lose your genuine love embracing unrealistic expectations and fantasies.
Why people frequently make these mistakes and fall into certain traps couple life related to education and life lessons received by each of us in childhood, adolescence (we always cheat / with various love stories and unrealistic models couples), we are always involved in a competition for the wrong reasons: if they can, can I (without objective analysis of situations and circumstances events).
Although promoted intestinal existing one soul mate in the world, the idea of ​​having more such soul mates is more plausible given the evolution and development of the company, changes, improvements or regress in varying degrees.
It is also wrong to expect partenrul / a to meet all your requirements and needs love and sexual life, emotional, is selfish and creates enormous pressure on the other.

Pitfalls of life of the couple - Attention!
The illusion of love >>
State of being in love comes from the unconscious and how the desire to remain in this state of bliss is strong, often are tempted to see only the good parts of partner / her with the feeling that he / she will stimulate good side of soul, refusing thus vedetirealitatea.
Fatally consciousness will one day refuse to believe your creations and you can analyze the strengths and weaknesses among you will live disappointment abate a beautiful story but it was possible only in your imagination.
Interpretation of mad passion, attraction, need, sex, emotional attachment to and love - a common error in putting on a serious relationship just this feeling. Love is not always enough to meet your requirements and needs as individuals in relationship.
Pitfalls life couple
Trap >> tale of Prince Charming
Some people waiting passively as the ideal partner should set up camp in their lives but without make any effort to do so. You must take responsibility for their own choices and consequences in your relationship. Initiate social contact and be ye / you have the right to choose, refuse to be a pawn to react to those who him / her "choose" to be part of their lives.
Trap promises >>
Early on, when partners are in love there is a general tendency to impress the other. Sometimes they feel as partner / wants of a savior, sometimes they just want to look grand in the eyes of the person loved and unspoken promises are left to germinate in the minds and hearts of their vicinity. Some will make jurmainte, declarations, but love is blind and little experience in knowing naivety and pushes many people fall prey to these promises is the desire to feel valuable, for fear of being rejected or deemed inappropriate.
Disappointment of unmet promises are not intentionally evil, one partner was knowingly left to hope for a collaboration / beautiful relationship (emotional delinquency). Many would like to be able to fulfill promises made, but these affect your relationship with the promise enslavement partners because conscience and sense of honor. Promises and duty can keep a couple together, although partners are not compatible, do not fit.
Pitfalls life couple
When one partner does not feel burdened despite promises should be good to think I no longer want to provide promised work and the decision not to abandon the promise.
Fear of abandonment >>
Partners in a couple may cling to each other just because they are afraid of abandonment, of separation. They usually attract people who can not take any commitment in a relationship.
Compromise >>
For a relationship to be successful you must accept as partner and respect the differences among you to not reject individuality. Learn to negotiate and avoid dezarcordurile, learn to overcome conflict situations through a fair compromise.
Also do not ever compromise the fear of abandonment, failure or rejection. Compromise has to be a middle way not unconditional acceptance, repeated opinion / decision other.
Trap monotony >>
According to psychologists often men expected ideal woman, destined for a happy conjugal life, but are filled with monotony soon as women and the most common result of installing this condition is infidelity in your relationship.
Subjugation >> Trap - Trap social isolation
In some relationships one partner torque sacrificing their wants and needs in order to satisfy the other (low self-control). This occurs either due to his fear of being rejected, fear of loneliness, or because manipulation performed by partner: he feels he has the right to be the center of the relationship, you should not follow the same rules and conventions as the rest of us, partner dominant believes that he deserves to be happy without making any effort to do so.
Pitfalls life couple
Often subjugated partner does not feel worthy of love, affection and respect for others and believe that no matter how much they would endeavor will not be able to find a / o partner / he has to respect and give them a fulfilling life couple.
Such a relationship will eventually fail because unilateral effort to bring happiness and fulfillment in life as a couple is not enough to avoid separation and disappointment.
Trap >> standards too high
In this case the torque partners impose their expectations too severe, I feel a constant pressure to achieve and do things at a very high level prformanta.
Self-sacrifice trap >>
Some people put the interests and needs of partners and others above their own, because they feel guilty if otherwise proceed. They usually take care of those who feel close.
Co-dependency trap >>
Some people feel helpless and are unable to take their own decisions. But waiting for someone to love you and give you what you need in a relationship of "barter", trying to win someone's love offering, giving you everything you need to create a relationship based on need, and you risk addiction It was later found that despite efforts voaste partner / can not give you what you want or what you offer him. Thus both partners fail to consistently meet each other's emotional needs: arise quarrels, disappointment, reproach, anger, frustration and inevitable breakup. But because of the feeling of incompleteness of each, they quickly engage in a same gender relationship, these fragile emotional ties often lead to multiple failures as a chain reaction.
Co-dependency is destructive to a relationship, especially for a wedding. You should not rely on the belief that your partner may recover emotionally from the relationship in the future deficit. These people are always in search of a partner being able to complete the them.
Careful treatment of partner-prisoner >> Couple
Life imprisonment torque is determined attempt to coddle too much of a partner or supplement, becoming a prisoner of claims, its weaknesses and convenience. Despite any weaknesses, defects a man should be treated as a whole person showing him respect and recognizing its power. Today people were accustomed to leave slurring his lament, to leave in the care of others. Therefore a partner who routinely treats as a whole person, able, can be an overwhelming situation. Give up compassion and release your domestic partner role.
Trap social approval >>
Social approval may play an important role in a relationship, because people tend to put a very high value on appearance and social status to attract the attention of others. In this case others decide for you and not in control of your relationship.
Trap personal marketing >>
Belief that must always be attractive / appealing for partner / a, to sell as a package with an attractive and good presentation is wrong. Seek authenticity, you will save a disappointment packaging containing less expensive, to be treated / a as a sexual object and you will attract people that are compatible / a
Trap >> failure, saturation
This trap couple life is based on the belief that there is a limited supply of potential partners and we have to be satisfied with what you find to avoid being alone / a Failure occurs when the relationship settle for less and make compromises in terms of personal needs. You need to define a reasonable standard in terms of elimination that certain conditions are fulfilled partner / a and persevere. You should be able to say "No" when you can not find what you are offered acceptable or you are proposing.
Trap mercy >>
Mila imply guilt and fear. This harms the feelings and partner relationship voastru the person: kill him strength, he felled the honor, dignity. You can help a man without feeling pity, oferinu them the chance to recover, to heal.
A couple miles they manifest courage is a prison and killing a firm stand.
There is another situation in which a relationship of mercy is understood as an retaliation.
Trap >> placiditatii in your relationship
Placidity stealthily installs in a couple's life if they are not attentive to the needs of partner / her warning signs of relationship, emotional connection dissipates and missing the joy of sharing joy and happenings. Lack of structure their relationships tired partners who do not know their relationship and direction were found in a commonplace that do not have what she meant.
However these couples continue to traisaca, to live together, in apathy, habit-this is a special type of dysfunctional couple in formula-cohabitation breakup. Sometimes avoiding end relationship masks a sense of care and love, but a love of indifference suffocated.
Trap compatibility >>
We must not confuse the partner selection criteria for fun, irresponsible torque term and the criteria for selecting spouse. Do not try to convert a relationship one moment in time when stable relationships requirements are not met, you deceived with false compatibility.
Trap attraction >>
Of partner choice based simply on physical attraction can create the illusion of compatibility and often it is interpreted as a sign of confirmation of positive direction of the relationship. These relationships come to an end when the physical attraction decreases and partners realize they have no other points in common or not what they say to each other.
Saving relationship Trap >>
Romantically hope that will resolve some emotional and financial difficulties and bring fulfillment and happiness is a disguised form of avoiding the responsibilities and challenges of life, waiting to be rescued / a of them. The result despair, addiction and relationship failure when problems multiply instead solve. Solution: try to define a certain vision of life and live this vision. Attempt to resolve financial and emotional problems before you engage in a relationship and try to find more often in a position to choose what you want not what you need.
Couple Trap competition >>
In any relationship is inevitable competition, sometimes with constructive effect sometimes destructive, the essential is to learn to properly manage not to destroy your relationship. The three main forms of competition in a couple of socio-anthropologists identified are: for power, for prestige or pride.
Competition is generally preferred in stable relationships, relationships that offers security and peace of mind that help build confidence and self-consciousness. Couple competition may suggest a deeper intimacy and closeness between partners, thereby strengthening and developing the relationship and your personal.
Couple competition becomes destructive when people do not know enough and are unsafe on their values ​​and qualities, being tempted to exaggerate the conditions of competition. Initial manifestations competition is punctual, loving, while it can turn into conflict: who make the most money, who spend more, who knows what is better, who is more intelligent, etc..
To limit the destructive effects of competition in the torque necessary to realize the timely appearance of this competition and learn how to piped to your personal and relationship development.
Lack of communication >>
Lack of communication is one of the most common causes of distancing between Partners of torque and a cause of many breakups. Some partners see the end of the relationship (Session) that have never really communicated with their partner.
Lack of communication, desire partner to share your thoughts and opinions derived from existing conviction who have not talk, you're not listening / to, you do not understand / understood, if you do not get anything on / of and honest / a This penalty applies silence - because we believe that rejection partner is not able / has to listen. Silence suspicion arises, played by each of the two in their own way: rejection, isolation, ignorance, prosecution, injury, contempt, frustration.
Couple happiness, marital happiness, depends not only on beliefs and common interests or similar education but also respect the differences of opinion which must be supported, expressed neofensator to your partner.
Silence does not allow first identify the problem, maintain a toxic environment, stressful, overwhelming. Extension silence means a captive partner in your fears and secrets. Communication is clean and you must learn how to say what you feel, even if it is sometimes uncomfortable partner. Couple maintain active communication exercise sincerity and spontaneity, trust and mutual listening.
Fear and closing itself often arise from the desire to avoid failures at emotinal, reprisal or criticism received partenri when one expresses feelings or opinions, tired of fighting conviction of the existence of a partner relationship problems, exhaustion occurred in own defense values.
Pitfalls life couple
General tips to avoid pitfalls couple life:
1. Both partners must understand the cycles of life and love are different for each individual couple.
2. The notion of the existence of a soul mate for a single person can create problems - metaphysical researches have shown that a man can have multiple soul mates and that some of them may be more compatible than others.
3. Stop trying to be concerned about finding a perfect partner compatibility for life. Some relationships are meant to be short, others long term relationship leave to follow their natural course.
4. Consider short relationships, pass them as learning opportunities and relationships instead categorized them as a esesc love.
5. Both are free to develop other friendships, relationships that can positively influence their personal life and so on the couple.
Resuscitation relationship
The couple is viewed as a whole, is a mini-universe of torque partners. But if one element of this system does not work does not mean that all relationship is compromised.
To decide how to save your relationship (and if possible) must identify not only her but also those systems malfunctions which works perfectly, if those systems are sufficiently large and developed to help you save your relationship.
Many relationships fail and can not be saved because partners tend to focus only on the dysfunctional relationship and lose sight of beneficial areas. Accept failure in a particular direction when necessary relationship to the dramatic decrease and increase lucidity analysis of functional elements in your life as a couple.

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